meandthestereo

I’m not naturally a performer, but there is an element of performance to being a musician.  So I have attempted to transform my nervous energy into stamina for singing and playing music onstage.  Usually, the crowd is nonexistent or mostly intoxicated if I was lucky enough to play on a weekend evening.  Perhaps the most nervousness comes from playing at open mic opportunities, when some of the crowd is actually listening!

I can’t say I ever feel comfortable or at ease on stage.  But I still value music performance, because I believe it is an opportunity to share.  I spend a lot of time working on songwriting in the privacy of my own living room with a notebook and a guitar.  The process is not really complete until I share the song with a few listeners.

I played cello in youth orchestras in middle school and high school.  I became comfortable with performing to a certain extent; i.e., with a group on stage.  It is still very difficult to face the silence of a stage, with just your cello or just a piano.  One time, as a youth, I made the mistake of wondering whether or not the audience was bored while I was performing, and that taught me a lesson.  From then on, I decided to imagine playing for the audience members who are enjoying the music, whoever those people may be (you really can’t tell).

At a certain point, I just became confident enough on piano that I didn’t mind playing in front of people.  I felt confident, and I didn’t need anyone’s approval of my playing for my ego, because I already had an idea of my strengths and weaknesses.  When I graduated from college, I began playing with different bands.  I found that even my mild skills on cello were an asset, so I hauled my cello around with me and started creating cello parts to accompany the music I heard.

Singing in front of people is another fear to get over.  One’s singing voice is really a source of ego obsession and pride for a while until you stop and think of it as another instrument to add to the mix.  As a part of the band The Raspberry Campaign, I had to get over my doubts about my voice in order to feature my songs at their best.  Sometimes, you have to go out there and perform, without the best mic or the best reverb on your voice.  The little places we would play rarely had any real sound technicians.

I have no room for ego with my guitar playing, because I have only been picking at chords for a few years.  I can strum chords, but have no greater guitar skills.  So I can find the chords I need for songwriting, but I can never show off on guitar.  But this works out, because I can’t really attempt to compare my guitar playing to anyone else’s.

I keep talking about performing in terms of ego and pride.  I think the best performers in music set those elements aside.  They bring their honesty and skills as a musician instead, and decide to share what they can with an audience.

The source for the 2nd image of the empty stage is here.